25. Smoking & Joints

21st October 2009. We’re the warmest place in France today at 21C.. Paris is down at around 12C.

I thought I’d give Madame a break from the kitchen today so this morning while she was at her painting class I prepared the lunch. I’d decided to make Jambalaya – which is a combination of many things we like – seafood, chicken, chorizo sausage, rice and hot Basque sauce.. It worked out quite well.. (if I say so myself!) If the finished product looks anything like this, you're in business!

(Gardening Dept: I’ve just finished re-seeding part of the lawn at the back of the house for about the third time.. Or, as it's known here, providing the starlings with yet another picnic.. This time I used a soil compound that was supposedly very rich in fertiliser and I hope this is the last time I have to do this particular job.)

Over the last few years I’ve had some pain in my knees when they’ve been immobile for a while – such as when driving or sat in the cinema.. The docs here sent me for MRI scans and X-rays and it turns out that I’ve got a touch of arthritis in both (aka the creeping march of time..). So yesterday I went to a Rhumatologue – a specialist who deals with articulation problems - and he injected both knees with a compound designed to cushion the joints. I’ve 2 more of these sessions to come then I should be OK again.

The issue of French manners seems to exercise many English people, but as I've observed before, manners here are different. For example, sat in the waiting room of the Rhumatologue, I noticed that everyone who came in said "Mesdames, messieurs" or what sounded like "M'sieurs dames" to the waiting room at large and the majority said "Au revoir mesdames, messieurs" to those in the waiting room on leaving. Now - correct me if I'm wrong - but this would not happen back in England.

Thought for the Day: I remember a doctor friend in England once saying that he was against living healthily with the aim of extending one’s life. His rationale is that the extra 5 years gained aren’t given back to you in your middle years – where you’d want them – but they get tagged on at the end.. where you don’t. He is a keen cigar smoker who smokes without guilt.

All of which brings me on to this: when Keith Floyd died, the holier than thou element of the UK media, aka the Fun Police, had a field day.. The headline in one English newspaper was “The pleasures of life undid him in the end..!” I would doubt that he had a single regret.. he lived his life as he wanted. Many don't. Here's to you, Keith!

Here's Keith in the Pays Basque bravely trying to make a Pipérade - against a constant barrage of 'advice'!

Right, enough of this, it’s a beautiful afternoon down here and it’s time to take the pooch for a walk. Then I'm going to have a drink on the terrace. Or two.

7. Steak & Kidney Pies and Baguettes

We were bumbling around Bayonne the other day (as you entitled to do when you’re a fully paid-up pensioner) and we found an Irish shop – its window was full of Scotch whisky – but we went in for a look and found that they had a food section. They had HP sauce, baked beans, S&K pies in tins (like Fray Bentos do), custard creams, tins of Bird’s custard, syrup, treacle, Jacobs Crackers, PG Tips – in fact, everything any self-respecting Englishman would need when sojourning abroad.. (joke!)

France has changed in many ways in the last forty years. The French are finally becoming a nation of home owners and more of them (but still only a minority) are living in houses and on estates. I would still guess that many still prefer to live in town in an apartment and, in my view, long may this continue. This is probably the main factor which keeps French town centres alive after 6pm – unlike across the Channel where many English town centres are ‘no-go’ zones in the evenings due to binge-drinking yoofs (not like us at all!).

Those English tabloid hacks who persist in retailing horror stories about surly French waiters and general French rudeness have got it all so wrong. It may once have been true – but I doubt it. It’s just that the two cultures have different concepts of manners. Unlike in England, in France it is considered polite to acknowledge other customers upon entering a shop or other patients in a doctor’s waiting room with a bonjour or a mesdames, messieurs. A shopkeeper will invariably wish you a bon continuation, a bon après midi or a bon fin d’après midi. Or if you thank them on leaving, they will often reply – No, it’s me who should thank you.

Shaking hands on meeting someone (whether a friend or a stranger) is expected – and if you don’t – as we Brits tend not to – people will think you’re either rude or standoffish, or both. However, if these hack stereotypes help to stem the tide of Anglos (apart from me) from invading France, then fine.

However, some aspects of French life remain unchanging. I realised that we were deep in rural France (la France profonde as it's known) when we took the Golf for its Contrôle Technique, the French equivalent of an MOT, at a garage in the village. There was a notice up on the wall that advertised a forthcoming Bingo night. One of the prizes was half a pig…

Another ever-present element in French life is their continuing love affair with the baguette. I used to think it a French affectation when you’d see them nibbling the end of their still warm baguette on the way home from the bakers. But, all I’d say is - don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! I’m sure a small fortune awaits the person who can work out how to make just baguette ends.. While the French love their baguette, it’s true to say that the number and type of baguettes have proliferated – each with their own name. Although the one that’s currently ‘in’ with us is the baguette à l’ancienne, there are many others.. such as the Tradition, the  flocaline, the banette, the campaillette or the croustinette.. But each baker has his own name for each – so, as my French teacher says – just point at what you want. Some bakers advertise that their bread is baked in a wood-fired oven. This is worth trying as the wood smoke imparts a pleasant flavour to the bread. Each to their own though.. Trial and error in a baker’s is not exactly hard work!

The final thing to bear in mind is whether or not you want one that’s a bit more high-baked.. In that case, you specify that you want your baguette bien cuite – without forgetting that all important final ‘e’ as baguette is feminin.. (it never stops!) Buying bread in a supermarket is not recommended. It's an industrial product and similar to the bread found in UK supermarkets.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'll bid you bon fin d’après midi as I've got half a pig to deal with..