20. The final countdown

Tuesday, 15th January 2008. Readers of a nervous disposition look away now… Between completing on the house and the run-up to Xmas, I had an overnight stay in hospital in Bayonne. I'd needed a minor ‘op’ to remove a stone that had taken up residence somewhere in my plumbing.

While still in the UK, I’d paid for a BUPA consultant and had had ultra sound scans but they were inconclusive. My GP referred me to a consultant at an NHS hospital shortly before we were to leave for France. When this date arrived, they carried out various tests which included ultra sound scans and cameras (but strangely no X-ray), the consultant's advice was that my problem could have been one of three things – the third of which was a tumour!! He wanted – in his words – to “open me up to see what it was”. I thought I don’t think so.. I thought it best to wait until we were settled in France where I’d have time to work through the whole process from start to finish.

So it was that once in France and we’d broken the back of all the tedious jobs and we were approaching Christmas, I finally went to the doctor.. I was quickly referred to a consultant who straightaway sent me for X-ray and 10 minutes later told me that what I had was a stone and definitely not a tumour. (Phew..!) It was as simple as that. With my layman’s hat on I can’t help but wonder why the NHS didn’t X-ray me..? He asked me what I was doing on the following Monday and with that, I was booked in for an ‘op’. I was amazed at the professionalism and speed of the whole process, the modern facilities, the friendliness and approachability of the doctors and the consultants.. It was difficult not to make comparisons with my experience of the NHS.

I went in and had the stone removed and when Madame brought me back home to the gîte, to my amazement Madame D came upstairs with a basket containing a bottle of wine, a packet of coffee, a box of sugar and a large bar of chocolate.. She said it was traditional in the Pays Basque.. and Madame and I were very touched by this kind gesture as they don’t have much in the way of material wealth.

This afternoon, I had my French class again which I enjoy. We all ended up talking as there were only four of us today and one was Vanessa, a new girl from Colombia in South America. The teacher asked me if I'd like to ask Vanessa a few questions? (Ding dong!) Faced with this approach, there was no option but to put my natural English reserve on hold and it wasn't too long we were all freely engaged in murdering the French language in a variety of ways using all available cover. Why didn't we learn French this way at school? All I can remember are endless lists of new vocab to be learnt and death by grammar.

Wednesday, 16th January. We went to Spain this morning to do some shopping and as we approached the border, we were both once again struck by the beauty of the countryside and the mountain scenery. There’s something about the fold and the lie of the land here that we both like very much. Many of the peaks are steeply angled and of course the landscape is dotted with these beautiful white-painted Basque farmhouses that are often situated on top of hills. I think they do this to get the evening breeze when it’s hot in summer. While I do have a soft spot for the Malvern Hills, I'm afraid that they're small pommes de terre compared to the Pyrenees.

We decided to have lunch in Spain while we were there.. We had a tortilla each, which here is like a potato omelette with ham and cheese in it. With that we also had a round of hot bread with a slice of lomo (pork with piment d'Espelette) and cheese on it each. To ease its progress down we had a sangria each followed by an espresso..

When we emerged outside, I looked up at the sky and it was a real dark midday sky – almost black. It was the colour of a gun barrel – a very threatening dark blue-grey.. We went into another shop for some food shopping and while we were in there, there was a resounding crash of thunder followed by the sound of torrential rain on the roof.. The poor pooch was stuck out in the car on his own as they don’t let dogs in shops in Spain, unlike in France..

Thursday, 17th January. Rained quite heavily for most of today.. We went to the house this morning for 9am to wait for the company who were going to deliver the new bed.. They couldn’t or wouldn’t tell us an exact time it would arrive so we had to hang around until they finally came just before lunchtime. The kitchen fitter, Eric, is one of Peio’s Basque Mafia (another one!) and he’s another superb worker. By the time we left he’d done so much and neatly too. Every day we do a few more ‘little’ jobs.. I sometimes wish I’d made a note of them all. It would be quite a daunting list if we’d seen it at the start.

Yesterday, for example, we had a look at what system we’re going to use to get TV, internet and telephones in the new house. There are so many different possibilities these days and the tarifs of the various companies are all subtly different depending on what you want. It’s a real minefield. They make it difficult for you to compare like with like. Also what kind of phones to buy.. And, no, they’re not all the same nowadays.

The day before we’d finally tracked down the right council department – after visiting about four different council departments - that issues wheelie bins as ours had vanished. They said they’ll drop one off at the house this week. Tick VG. Another job done. I think we do about 2-3 of these little jobs every day and we’ve been doing this every day since we arrived here.

Today we’re going to look at renting a small van for the move on 30th January. Plus we’re going to look at another TV/Internet/telephone provider in Bayonne called Numericable. With many of these companies now they offer free phone calls within France and all the EU (including Britain) and N America… And that’s 7 days a week, not just week ends! However, when we arrived there, we were discouraged by the number of dissatisfied customers.. We’re also going to shift all the new bathroom fixtures and fittings from the front bedroom where they’ve been stored for the last few weeks to the back bedroom which has now been finished. Another job done. Once we’ve done that, the painter can get cracking in the front bedroom. Next week, the new bathroom goes in too..

Madame's going to start sweeping out the sitting room and the dining room today as we’ve asked Eric if he can give us a price for sanding the wooden floors in there and refinishing them. He’ll have to get a shift on as there’s only next week clear before the removals men arrive with all our stuff the following week.

Friday, 18th January. We went to the house this morning and Eric's almost finished. He had the fridge in and he was just screwing all the handles onto the new units. And then that will be about it in there.. There’s now very little trace of the previous owner’s decoration evident and the house is very light now. Eric is also an interior decorator and we’ve asked him to do the downstairs wood floors as his estimate was very reasonable. He’s going to sand the floors in the sitting room and dining room on Monday and then he’ll put a couple of coats of varnish down. I asked the painter this morning in a roundabout way what he liked to drink.. He said whisky.. I surprised him (and myself!) by giving him a bottle of 12 year old Glenmorangie on his last day as our way of saying thank you for a good job well done..

It was still grey here today after a couple of days of rain. The river that runs down the valley was running very high and the water was brown..

Saturday, 19th January. We went to the house this morning to meet Peio and two of his Basque friends from the Spanish side who were going to fit the work tops and the sink. They came today to measure up exactly as there’s always a world of difference between the plan and reality. Eric is going to sand the floors in the sitting room and dining room on Monday so we had a major tidying up session. We swept and swept and swept getting all the dust up.. One of the side-effects of the painter's technique is that it produces a lot of dust as he rubs down with sandpaper between each coat. But a determined sweep gets most of it up and we went over it at the end with a damp cloth. We did the upstairs too while we were at it. It really needs a good vacuuming as a lot of dust has got down between the cracks in the floorboards.

The pooch was wandering around in his new garden but he was slightly uncertain of himself. Not quite sure what’s happening. He looked like he didn’t know whether to stick or twist.

After I’d finished sweeping and shifting things around I went outside and sat on our terrace to cool off as I was covered in dust and sweat. Madame reckoned that it was warm enough to eat outside. I’ve always dreamed of living somewhere where you could sit outside to eat..

We went to St Jean de Luz this afternoon and when we got out of the car it was like May… blue skies, brilliant light and the sun was warm on our faces. It was superb - I left my jacket in the car and just had a sweater on. Madame wanted to go there as there’s a bedding shop that she wanted to have a look at. It was open so in we went and 20 minutes later (this is the kind of shopping I like!) we came out with a bedspread and two pillow cases for the new bed and a blanket as ours were getting a bit thin. As a bonus they were in the sales too.

After that we walked along the front and found a bench facing the sun and sat there for a bit like a couple of owld codgers.. Well, why not? It was really just the job and we were reminded how lucky we are to be living here. After that, we found a table outside in a crowded café in the main square where we sat and people watched for a while. It was so warm and we kept telling ourselves that it was mid-January!

Sunday, 20th January. This morning we drove just up the coast to a place called Hossegor in Les Landes. Although it’s just outside the Basque Country it’s very different. The landscape is different – the soil is sandy and so the trees and the vegetation is different – it was thickly wooded with pines. The style of houses is different too (right). Gone are the large white Basque houses with the wood facings painted blood red. We had a good long walk along an inland canal that was less of a canal and more like an inlet that was open to the sea. It became a large lake surrounded by houses that looked wince-makingly expensive. While we were there I saw a young couple getting out of a black Range Rover Sports - a familiar face I thought - it was Dimitri Yashvili (the French rugby international) who plays for Biarritz Olympique.

A white van with Spanish plates stopped outside the house during the afternoon and it was our Spanish Basques with our granite worktops.. The two Basques were quite happy to work away well into Sunday evening so we left them to it and sure enough, the next morning, when we opened up, the kitchen looked magnificent with its gleaming green granite tops. They'd done a beautiful job.

Monday, 21st January. Went to the house first thing (9am) and Eric had almost finished (!) sanding the sitting room and dining room floors..

After this we went to St Jean to go to the bank to tell them of our impending change of address and then, on the way back, we stopped at a Depôt Vente where we bought a wardrobe in cherry wood for one of the bedrooms. It should be a good match for a chest of drawers we already have in cherry wood and it will give us a bit more storage space. It comes apart so they’ll deliver it (on 1st Feb) and put it back together again. It’s 16½C, in bright sunshine and hardly a cloud to be seen..!

A chap could get used to this!

11. Basque dentists

Villefranque

The other day I had to go to the dentist in the village (right - with the Pyrenees showing in the background). It was unexpectedly modern and probably more advanced than any other dental surgery I’ve ever been in – including once when I had to go to a dentist while on business in Baltimore in the US.

Now American dentists have the reputation of being the world’s best but from my experience this one guy in a tiny Basque village would run them pretty close. I must say I was slightly nervous going in as I didn’t know what to expect but he was a very funny & talkative character.. He spoke good English too – in fact, his daughter had just left to go to Cambridge for 3 months to improve her English.

We started talking about rowing too and he told me that his wife is a 3 time World Champion and that she coached at the local club that I’d seen. He said they have a veterans’ section too. He said I should go down there and ask for her.

So in what way was the dentist so modern I hear you ask..? Well, when I sat back in the chair and looked up, there was a computer display screen. And as he asked me my details, they came up on the screen as he typed them in so I could check he’d got everything right. He said that he needed to x-ray the one that was giving me a twinge.. I thought, “Hello, ker-ching!”

He did a quick x-ray and about 2 seconds later, there was the x-ray of my tooth up on the screen. He also had a panoramic picture of a generic mouthful of teeth which he modified as he went along so that they ended up reflecting the actual condition mine were in. As he x-rayed each tooth, he tagged the ones he’d done on the screen so that if he wanted to have another look, all he had to do was to click it on his computer.. He didn’t have an assistant either – he did everything himself.

Now in England, they have assistants but they have to be paid for. And guess who pays for them..? No prizes. The last time I went to the dentists in the UK, I was charged £64 just for the dentist to give my teeth a good clean. I was in there for all of about 15-20 minutes. Here, I had about 5 x-rays and he checked all my teeth including fixing the problem I had with one at the back, and then he gave them all a clean. Madame was in with me and she gave me a wink as if to say, this will be a big bill. When it came, he charged me only £52.. Now, what’s good here is that we paid that on the spot and then we send off the bill to our Mutuelle (our health insurance company) and we get paid back in full. In England the NHS has lost the plot – you pay for your dentist. In theory, the NHS should provide dentistry but try and find one who’ll take you on as a NHS patient; plus if you’re under 60, you pay for your prescriptions and you pay for your eye tests and your specs; etc etc.

Rant over.. (“… now breathe deeply … and relax..”)

2. Arrival in the Pays Basque

Two days later on a sunny Saturday afternoon we found our gîte just outside Villefranque, a very Basque village that's about 8km inland from Bayonne, the nearest major town. Bayonne is the unofficial capital of the French Basque country, which can be found deep in the far south west of France. We were met by the owners - Monsieur & Madame D - who farmed the property. Our gîte (below right) was in an upstairs section of their vast white-painted Basque farmhouse, situated in a hollow at the end of a valley lined with an eclectic mix of Scots pines, old oaks and strangely enough.. palm trees.

Monsieur D looked every 2.54cm the Basque farmer with his broad Basque beret and his face a deep mahogany red colour. I was later to find out (the hard way) that his nose was the original location and inspiration for his spectacularly rosy hue. Madame D was a friendly woman of sturdy stock and she was blessed with a powerful voice that could be heard echoing all over the valley. They were a geographically close family in a way that we in England are no more; their son’s house being 100m up the lane while that of her daughter was 150m up the lane in the other direction. Madame D had herself been brought up in the neighbouring farmhouse just 50m away. They had a few animals – 5 cows, 2 giant pigs, around a dozen chickens and several hutches, each of which held a fat rabbit or two – all of which would make their contributions to their kitchen in one way or another. I would guess that they are fairly close to being self-sufficient.

As soon as we’d unpacked the van and I’d had a day off to unwind, I set off alone at 7am on the Monday to return the van to England. I made good time – hitting the Périphérique (or, in more prosaic Anglo-Saxon, the ring road) around Paris at ~3pm so I decided to push on to Calais. On arrival there, I still felt fresh, so I took an earlier crossing than I’d planned and, before I knew it, I found myself back in our Herefordshire village again at 11pm where I spent the night with a neighbour – 16hrs later and 900 miles (1450km) after leaving the gîte. (Health Warning: Don't try this at home)

After a short but satisfyingly deep coma, I returned the van to the rental company early the next morning and taxi'ed back to our village to pick up our left hand drive Golf that we‘d left at the neighbour’s before setting off for Dover and France again. I arrived back in France at about 8pm that evening and thought I’d drive until I was tired before stopping. In the end, I didn’t get tired and so I drove on through the night with the traffic-free autoroutes all to myself. At 7am on Wednesday morning I found myself outside the farmhouse again trying to get back in. After throwing gravel at Madame’s window with no joy, I was finally let in by a sleepy eyed Monsieur D in his underpants! I’d driven 1800 miles (2900km) in 48hrs.. and I still felt fine. However, I doubt that I’ll be making a habit of it. (how wrong can you be!)

The next few days blurred into weeks. We started on an interminable round of visits to various French government offices, car insurance companies, and health insurance companies as we engaged with the great well-oiled bureaucratic machine that runs France. And most of these had acronyms. For example, there was CPAM (aka French Social Security), MGEN (the Health Mutuelle for teachers that Madame belonged to) and MAIF (a car insurance company specifically for teachers).

In England, we’ve opted recently for made-up names that attempt to capture the core values of the target company. These are dreamt up by glossy agencies that are paid frighteningly large lumps of money to do so. I seem to remember the short-lived Consignia, then there’s Exxon, QinetiQ, Expedia, Excellerate, Xafinity and Capita and zzz-zzzzzzzzz........